You Are Worth More Than A Number

To the mom who still puts so much value into her weight.

I am going to hold your hand and say this as nice and lovingly as possible.

You are shrinking who you are to fit into a version you outgrew years ago!!

The mom staring back in this picture is a completely different version of who I was 3 months ago, 6 months ago, 1 year and especially 6 years ago.

Be Proud of How Far You Have Come

It did not happen by coincidence! 

It happened with patience, tears, tough love, determination, consistency and a big OLE surrender!

I got tired of playing the vicious cycle that I wasn’t ever going to be good enough if I wasn’t the smallest size and knew I had to do something different for me and my kids, especially the daughters I was setting an example for! 

For years I tied my worth, value and how healthy I was to my weight. If I hit 120 pounds and fit into those 2/4 size jeans I was FIT and that was success.

Truth is, I was tired, stressed out, had never felt so weak in my life and had to be put together all the time to go out in public.

Over the last 6 years God has taken me on a journey of deconstructing SO much but how I valued my worth in my outward appearance has been one of the most humbling journeys I’ve navigated.

Not because I thought I had it all figured out but because I thought I'd overcome something with my body then I’d be smacked right back into reality that my worth was still tied to a number or the fact that I wasn’t doing enough to be “healthy.”

While having a third baby and fluctuating weight, I didn’t want to go on that roller coaster again. 

I wanted receipts, receipts of what made me feel good inside and out, even if I never got down to 120 again in my life. Find ways that made me feel strong, things that actually made me feel healthy, different ways I felt confident and to create a lifelong journey that didn't revolve around fixing me but wanting to feel good!

I knew it couldn’t be with a number, the clothes I was wearing, the makeup I was putting on but It was going to finally be a journey of seeing ME for me! 

A journey that I hope you get to experience for yourself.

It is real, raw but eye opening and beautiful! 

Now as I sit at a weight that I typically am roughly 20 weeks pregnant I feel capable, strong, I get to sleep through the night, I get to lift heavy weights and things on the farm without flinching. 

The best part is that my relationship with myself is improving. I don't feel like I'm constantly on a hamster wheel of needing to always improve something while I constantly fall short.

My marriage is so much better, I get to encourage my kids in a different capacity and I get to show up and be more present for them.

Joy comes in the most mundane ways and sometimes it’s on a journey you’d never thought you would navigate.

It has brought so much more beauty along the way. 

If you are still riding the wave of looking around, guilt, shame and holding the value of your weight there’s no better time than NOW to draw a line in the sand and begin your own journey. 

If I was starting over from the beginning here's what I would do differently

1. Trust what I was doing was enough! Stop looking around at everyone else to find the next “hack” to get skinny. You not only know your body the best but your body handles things differently than the next person. I learned this when I understood my body needs more breaks and rest than most and it's not lazy. I literally have a brain issue that most don’t deal with on a daily basis. 

2. Be humble enough to know I didn’t know it all and seek help when needed. This became super beneficial when I felt my hormones were jacked and I wasnt getting the help I needed with my doctors. In 2023-2024 I started seeking a functional practitioner and she validated everything I was feeling with hormonal imbalance and helped with a protocol that helped me feel more like myself! Sometimes you need that extra support in a season and it will help you so much more than you know! 

3. Seek a relationship with Jesus first and foremost. This will look so different for everyone but I know prayer for guidance, journaling and spending time in the word have been such a transformational piece to this journey that it couldn’t go unnoticed. He created you uniquely, he not only desires a relationship with you. He begs you not to punish it, shame it or hate it but he desires you to love, care and nurture your body. 

4. Action breeds confidence. Pick a plan and do it for at least 120 days before you throw in the towel. Picking a plan and sticking to it allows you to lay a strong and firm foundation with your simple habits and as the days go on you also are able to add things, shift and grown but most importantly creating a firm foundation is what will create a long term relationship with yourself that will outlast any weight loss goal

5. Give yourself grace, you are learning something completely new. Whether you are 20, 34 or 46. Give yourself the grace you freely give to others you cannot or should not have it all figured out right now. 

The only way you will ever be proud of how far you have come is continually showing up for yourself in the mundane and stripping your weight from your worth! You are so much more than that 🤍

With Love,

Ashley