Gentle Care After Miscarriage: Caring for yourself with GRACE

LOSS

It’s grueling.

It’s unimaginable.

It’s heartbreaking.

It’s frustrating.

After any loss, the flood of emotions is unlike anything else. grief, sorrow, shame, pain, and guilt can wash over you in waves while your hormones crash back down to baseline. It feels like your body and your heart are working against you at a train speed.

If I could whisper one thing into your mind right now, it would be this: you did nothing to cause this. 

The more grace you can infuse into your healing, the more you’ll be able to trust that truth.

No words will ever erase the pain, physically or mentally. But encouragement and support can remind you that you’re not alone.

This is the blog post I wish I had one year ago when I went through two miscarriages back-to-back. Not the cozy “you’ll get pregnant again” phrases that stung more than they soothed. Not the harsh lists of “things to do to prevent miscarriage next time” that made me feel like I had failed.

What I needed was help in the moment, ways to comfort my body and soul while going through a loss I did not want to be walking through to begin with.

It's ok

The emotions will change daily. More than anything your emtions will be changing minute by minute and I'm hear to tell you it is ok to feel lonely, grief, comparison, sadness, frustration as well as hope, joy and graittude. Not only can those emotions both exist together but your hormones are shifting and this is a

Do not allow anyones experience diminish yours. Never allow anyones words diminish your feelings, they are true and real. If you feel the need, reach out to a therapist they are there to talk through the emotions and feelings that flat out do not make sense.

Pain Management & Physical Comfort

I’m a crunchy mom at heart, but I’m not naive! Sometimes you need the “big guns.” These are a few things I kept on hand for pain and healing:

• Gentle pain relief – Genexa, Tylenol, and Cramp Bark. Think of it as a “good, better, best” lineup. Sometimes natural remedies work beautifully, but other times you need real relief. And that’s okay.

• Heat & light therapy – My Lumebox red light, heating pads, rice socks, and yes, even ice packs. (For me, warmth feels more natural during this season, but your body might ask for cold—listen to it.)

• Showers – A hot shower isn’t just about hygiene; it’s like standing in healing water. When bleeding feels never-ending, stepping under the stream can be refreshing and comforting.

The Unseen Helpers

Often times it is like a small labor you will experience.

It’s not glamorous, but the small things matter:

• Granny panties – the kind that aren’t cute but actually get the job done. Will hold in your belly for comfort and your pad for carrying pads and catching all the things.

• Disposable pads – I usually love period underwear, but during loss, pads just feel easier. (Cora is my go-to low tox brand.)

• Rest – It sounds simple, but it’s one of the most powerful tools. Allow yourself to lay down without guilt.

Gentle Movement & Sunlight

Rest is healing, but so is gentle movement when your body is ready. For me, it looked like walking to the mailbox at a snail’s pace with a cup of joyful frothy coffee in hand. Not for exercise, not to “bounce back,” but to remind my body that it’s still alive, still worthy of love, still mine and oh so safe. And don’t underestimate sunlight. Just 10 minutes outside in the morning can support your circadian rhythm, lift your mood, and remind you that the world is still turning—even when it feels like yours has stopped.

Daily Prayer

Prayer became one of the most grounding practices for me. It wasn’t long or fancy—it was simple and sometimes repetitive, something I could cling to when words failed me.

Here’s a prayer you can whisper each morning, or whenever the waves of grief feel heavy:

Lord, be near to my broken heart. Hold me in Your arms when I feel empty and remind me that You are my comfort. Give my body rest, my mind peace, and my spirit hope for tomorrow. Help me release the guilt I was never meant to carry and trust that You are still good, even here. Amen.

Sometimes prayer was my only exhale that day but it reminded me I wasn’t walking this valley alone.

A Final Word

This is not a to-do list. This is not about “fixing” your loss or “moving on.”

These are gentle tools to help you feel comforted, mentally and physically, as your body and heart go through one of the hardest shifts imaginable.

Most of all give yourself permission to heal slowly, to cry often, to rest fully, and to know deep in your soul that this was not your fault.

You are not alone, even here. 🤍

With Love,

Ashley