Supporting your friend through a miscarriage

What I wish I knew before I experienced my own miscarriage/s. I wish I hadn’t experienced the pain to be sharing this but I hope to be a beacon of hope and light in a challenging time for you or your friend.

To the friend who is reading this whether you’ve experienced loss or not know you still have the ability to support a grieving mom after loss.

Here are a few different things that have helped me not only feel supported but have helped me support other friend's who have experienced the unimaginable.

Take the Pressure Off

It’s not always with extravagant conversation or the right words, often times less is better. It can be through a simple text, “I’m thinking of you,” or a gentle act of kindness! 

Giving yourself grace and knowing no words will take the pain away from what your friend is experiencing takes the pressure off both parties. 

You aren’t there to take the pain away, you are there to be a friend that shows comfort in whatever way you choose is MORE than enough! 

Simple Ways to Show Love and spread joy

There are so many small but powerful ways to support a grieving mom:

• Flowers – picked from your garden, bought from the grocery store, or ordered from a shop. The beauty is in the thought, not the price tag.

• Meals – homemade dinners or freezer friendly soups, casseroles, and even desserts. Nourishment matters more than you realize especially as the mom heals. Taking one more thing off her plate allows space to heal and food to nourish her body wuth ease.

• Keepsakes or books – something tangible to honor the baby they lost or to gently walk them through grief. A book, devotional, necklace or keepsake box. Here's a list of one's I love.

• Time together – ask if you can sit with her, even for 30–90 minutes. She may not feel like talking much, but your quiet presence can lift her spirit more than you’ll ever know.

Don’t Overthink It

The most important thing? Don’t overthink how to support your friend. There is no way you can or cannot support your friend to little or too much. Plus you can’t say the “wrong” thing if your heart is coming from love. If you ever feel like you did, there’s always room for apology and grace.

At the end of the day, your grieving friend doesn’t need perfect words or a big gift she needs comfort, presence, and a reminder that she isn’t walking this season alone.

More than anything don't just expect your friend to know that you are thinking of them. Reach out, be a light in a time of darkness and uncertainty. Your time and words are a beacon of hope and light!

With Love, Ashley